Autokabalesis (Rap)

Lyrics

Hotwife of Pi

Autokabalesis

when I hit the ground will you believe it
this shit has not been hidden like a secret
Ive been openly grieving but its however you perceive it
and seriously, your perception just feeds it
feeds the hurt ive tried to speak in
but theres no point speaking my demons
if it aint gonna treat it
for real it aint gonna heal shit
its just repeating the same fucking reason
I dont know what this disease is
my brains broken, I swear I cant fucking feel shit
cant feel any other emotion except for hatred of life an
its just dreams and schemes to help relieve this instead of crying
if this is the cost of living is there a discount on dying cos I can only see prices rising
Ive disguised it despite it slicing and driving a knife in my thigh an
chastising me for just being alive
so ill take high rises as my license
brown eyes with a red iris
this might be the last night they will have life in
so fuck the clinical wording wrapped around my crisis
tomorrow can keep making promises
but it cant tell me life wont always be like this

Autokabalesis
now everybody learns my value while theyre pricing up whose the grief is
lets see how they find devotion of lonliness when theres noone to name left
Autokabalesis

I hide the pain under pending appeal
shit sounds official till the safety net fails
they gave the fall a label, put the label in Latin
like naming the exit means they know what happened
honestly at this point you can pretend you care but Ill ration the truth
everyone wants “Im fine”, cos noone can carry the proof
cos breathing is a burden, not a reason to stay and still lose
and surviving a night aint the same as surviving the day as a second best excuse
so I step with these thoughts to the edge and let it pass through my feet
strip the error from terror to see the trap underneath
fuck the forms, fuck the wait, fuck the fake how do you feel
fuck the fact that you think my sufferings only true if a doctor says its real
tomorrow keeps making offers but all its terms come from shredding blood with steel
but raging waters aint where I wanna spill
dont wanna fill the tub to the top with the kettle again
cos I dont have the stomach to down the vodka on the cupboard to get in
so tonight Im writing this as plainly as possible, cos its getting really real
one one six one two three kind of real

Autokabalesis
now everybody learns my value while theyre pricing up whose the grief is
lets see how they find devotion of lonliness when theres noone to name left
Autokabalesis

I just want my brain to be quiet for a minute
cant even sleep without their horrid image in it
cant even dream cos that fucking twatty bastard cunt keeps turning up in it
soon as my eyes shut, every detail of desire develops
same fucking face in the dark like my skull fucking held it
my heart remembers the warning
my legs remeber the walking while the bleeding was pouring so by the time it reaches through the morning to evening
Im leaving
Im at a point where even harmless people get mistaken with dangerous feelings
I just need them gone from this world before I leave cos I know their waiting
wainting for the day they know my spots vacant

Autokabalesis
now everybody learns my value while theyre pricing up whose the grief is
lets see how they find devotion of lonliness when theres noone to name left
Autokabalesis

wake every morning with their name sitting on the edge of my tongue
like hatred hates their face and refuses to run
seems like the only true solution is buying a gun
blast a bolt of lightning led through the night for fun
distrobuting their conclusion with zero dilution
so for the sake of the netflix movie
the moment I see them is the moment the execution begun
call it a confused illusion all you want
I need one night where my head doesnt screen them
one fucking hour where the blood in my brain doesnt feed them
I just want my messed up mind to be quiet a minute
not that itd listen

Autokabalesis
now everybody learns my value while theyre pricing up whose the grief is
lets see how they find devotion of lonliness when theres noone to name left
Autokabalesis



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