Genesis

Lyrics

"Right class
This is genesis"

Yeah this bits boring as shit
Basically before absolutely anything existed yeah
there was fuck all here
And I dont mean like no munchies in the cupboards so ill slice a bit off the cheese type of fuck all
I mean legit fuck all kind of fuck all

No Greggs
Mackys
Xbox
Netflix
No bitches
Or boss man selling vapes to kids, he knows are underage

"shit, mate, stop it"

not even the dodgy ass corner shop
thats somehow still open at two o clock
in the morning
despite noone never ever going in

Just darkness man

Just close your eyes for a minute and imagine it
Fucking looking like he hasnt paid the electric and shit

Then my guy God turns up
fuck knows where from
but when he turns up
bro tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrns the fuck up

And bear in mind
My mans got no tools
No ladders
Hammers
Or drills
Actually
Probably had a little Makita set innit
like
if my man can create a bunch of planets
Then Im backing he can bang out a 18volt DHP in a minute
But yeah
There was nothing going on
It was shit

And this dickhead just goes
“Let there be light”

And bang!
Fucking light

Like immediate LED kind of shit

Which is already taking the piss
Because Ive been asking the council to fix the lights in my crib
All week and their still nowhere to be seen
Bastards been telling me ill probably have to pay for it privately

Lord please

Anyway
God looks at the light and goes
“Yeah, Thats fucking banging this is”

Then he separates the light from the darkness and shit

Calls the light day
Calls the dark night
Calls the light day
Calls the dark night

Pretty straightforward naming system at this stage innit
Not exactly fucking Shakespeare is it?

The guys like
"Day one done
pssshh
Easy this shit, Ive got it"

So he wraps a fat one and spent the rest of the first evening scrolling big tiddy deities on Goddit

Next day, sat toking and thinks
“Damn I fucking hotboxed this shit”

Boom!
Made the clouds and sky with it

Zero stress yeah
Day two done
He just sat admiring it

Third day and my mans woke up with dry mouth
so he separates the water underneath from the water above
Starts dividing it

Dont ask me how there was water above the sky
Fuck knows
I wasnt there my guy innit

And shit, its only day three

Were not doing physics and shit yet

Yeah,
Then God puts all the water on the ground
and pushes it together so some dry land appears
shit man
And on the dry land he sees your nasty arse mamma
so he floods that shit again and tries somewhere different
Im just fucking with you
your mums fucking fire

Anyway
Yeah
Bro calls the dry bit land
Calls the wet bit seas
Again
Absolutely smashing the names here
Well
I mean
He probably didn't call it either of them
If were being real likely called it something adamic
But yeah

Then hes like
“Right, get some plants in here”

Ganja comes up

Trees

Buds growing

Green everywhere

Flexing his shit
it goes from building site
to the best of B&M garden centres
in twenty seconds

looks at it

“Yeah., thats sick”

Day three sorted

On the fourth is where you might notice a bit of a story flaw, yeah
cos my guy already made light before on day one, right
But hasnt made the sun yet

I know

Dont start

Its unimportant

I think that shit was misinterpreted
and day one he just needed a lighter to light and spark his dooby yeah

but whatever
bro made the sun on day four right
and the moon and stars, like
Sun runs the day shift
Moon runs nights

So stars are basically decoration
And for navigation
And dudes to point at while absolutely mashed out their faces
Masturbating on the mushrooms he made yesterday
Fucking wasted
like ....

“Bro, that space shit he created is actually outrageous"

Day five
God realises he needs dudes
To eat the shrooms
And starts making animals
Fish first
Big fish
Little fish

Dont say it
("cardboard box")

Fucked up fish with lamps hanging off their faces
Whales
Things with teeth
They do not need

Then birds
Pigeons unfortunately

God tells them
“Go on, multiply”
Which is biblical language for start shagging
They do....
..... Obviously

Day six is where God properly starts showing off

Land animals
Cows
Dogs
Snakes
Beetles
Giraffes

Nah
not those tiny angry dogs narcissistic old women drag about
That ones on us

Everything else though

Then God goes

“Right. One more”

And makes humans

In his own image

Which is a brave decision considering what humans eventually start doing on PornHub

He makes a man and woman and basically says
“Guys, this place is yours
Look after it
Eat the animals
Smoke the plants
Piss in the oceans
Just dont fuck it up”

And humanity
especially white motherfuckers as we will discover later on
takes the word "yours" extremely fucking personally

looks at everything

Not bad
Six days
Universe finished

Then on day seven?
God rests

Because even the almighty knows you dont work Sundays unless your getting time and a half yeah

Then day eight, this motherfucker looks at the world and is like
"Shit this is going too well, lets have some fun"

And bang,

Hotwife of Pi

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