After The Applause

Lyrics

After The Applause
there isnt any applause
just the noise I make for myself
to pretend someone actually cares
about my health


soooo
I dont write being brave
I write cos Im hurt

cos my world feels small
and the universe wont stay quiet
I open a blank note
like its somewhere to hide shit
tell it things I wouldnt even tell
someone who loved me in private

I try an make it look like a song
so it doesnt look like Im crying
even if I never post it
thats what makes it exciting

After The Applause
there isnt any applause
just the noise I make for myself
to pretend someone actually cares
about my health

and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen
trying to find a way to get it out of me
Im not trying to make music here
I just need somewhere to bleed

cos

After The Applause
its just me again
with no typing to hide in
and no fake ending to pretend
I just know I need to let it go
but Im struggling to make it leave
I hate to read what my hands been writing
because the writing always comes back to me

I can tell myself this is nothing
just words I placed on a screen
just another stupid note
no ones ever gonna see

but I of all people should know when Im lying
Im writing this shit to try and stop me from crying
to rehearse a line in my mind
for when someone asks if im alright

but really it doesnt even work lately
most of these song I dont even play
hundreds of tracks Ill never hear back
at this point theirs thousands lose in my suno workspaces
I should save them in a folder
tell them Im locking them away
bury them in my archive to never see the light of day

cos

After The Applause
there isnt any applause
just the noise I make for myself
to pretend someone actually cares
about my health

and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen
trying to find a way to get it out of me
Im not trying to make music here
I just need somewhere to bleed
cos

After The Applause
its just me again
with no typing to hide in
and no fake ending to pretend
I just know I need to let it go
but Im struggling to make it leave
I hate to read what my hands been writing
because the writing always comes back to me

so...
here I am then
Ive open it again
because what else can I do
I dont wanna say this shit out loud
to a stranger in a room
I dont want the pain to be explained
or some twat to try unpack
I just wanna put the pain somewhere
deep where I dont have to answer back
so I came back to write another line
to tell myself that its control
like if I make it sound alright
it wont eat into my soul

fuck dude, even for you thats pathetic
but mate, thats all Ive got
for a minute while Im writing I can breathe
and for a long time most days I could not
so after the applause
when it hurts like it does
I still go back to these notes
because the keys dont make me touch
things I cant carry on thinking
about the ones I wanna kill
so Ill just keep surviving through writing
and convincing myself Im forging a skill

cos

After The Applause
there isnt any applause
just the noise I make for myself
to pretend someone actually cares
about my health

and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen
trying to find a way to get it out of me
Im not trying to make music here
I just need somewhere to bleed
cos

After The Applause
its just me again
with no typing to hide in
and no fake ending to pretend
I just know I need to let it go
but Im struggling to make it leave
I hate to read what my hands been writing
because the writing always comes back to me



© 2026 Hotwife of Pi. All rights reserved. All lyrics are original works written and published under the name Hotwife of Pi and are protected by applicable copyright law. No part of these lyrics may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, adapted, performed, recorded, transmitted, used for artificial intelligence or machine-learning training, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from the copyright holder, except where permitted by law.