Defective

Lyrics

Write and toke
Thats why im broke
Type and smoke
Any type of smoke
Sounds like a joke
But its better with a line of coke
Spoke
Folk
Oak
Stroke

"Are you even listening?"

Oh shit, yeah, sorry, no, I was listening yeah

"Good, its important"

Its fucking boring
Ugghhh, but 
Seriously, im just joking
Carry on

"Ugh your so fucking obnoxious"

What? Who? Me?

"Yeah, you"

Your not allowed to say that shit

"Why? I can say what I want, im a private therapist"

Your a fucking bitch, you know?

"Well, yeah I am, but thats for my therapist to deal with. Have you got any other bullshit to say before we continue?"

Well....
Ive been waiting for ages for you to get to the main bit but we remain on the same shit sustaining conversation for the sake of just saying it and I aint complaining, Ive been tryna refrain it, but shit,
Your ruining the cocaine, bitch

"Pi!"

Shit,
Did I say that out loud?
Must have done because this bitch has stopped moving her mouth

Shit, dont blame me because the way you speak dont entertain me 
Its the ADHD that betrays me 
I swear see
That and the fact that I get sick of hearing you always blame me 

"Im not blaming anyone"

Bitch I aint crazy
You place me in a case the second I walk out this place, please 
You know what lady, you should be fucking paying me 

"Lady, since when have you been polite?"

Oh, alright
I'll bite
You want my undivided attention? 
Thats fine
Youve got every defective fucking percentage of mine
Go on, rewind
Tell me where I became the defendant this time
Pick a point in my childhood, give me a time
Tell me which parental disappointment
You'd like to monetise
Or shit, do you want the teenage years?
You wanna hear how I spent the first two in here
Without even knowing where I was?
Every lunch getting taken to some side room at school
While everyone else fucked off 
eating, laughing and being normal
Im sat opposite another adult trying their best to be formal
Asking the same fucking questions you ask 
And I still dont know the answers now, let alone way back

"What happens at home?"
Fuck knows

"What are you feeling?"
Fuck knows

"Why do you think youre here?"
Bitch, if I knew that
You could probably have your lunch back

Was it what I did on Tuesday? Wednesday?
Was it that thing with my mates?
Was it something I said six weeks back
That the school kept packed for a suitable date?

"And Pi, why were you there?"

Nobody ever explained why I was there
They just kept taking me there

And you learn something weird from that

If enough adults keep asking whats wrong with you
Eventually you stop wondering if anything is
And start wondering how bad

"What happened after that?"

After the first two years
Things got better for a bit
Teachers left me alone, and shit
I was allowed my lunch
Finally got a chance to make friends and fall in love
Fuck, I was allowed to be a fucking kid for once

But yeah
That was just school

"How about at home?"

Home life was hell
Another day of mummy thinking shes funny
Telling me to watch
While she takes her "loopy pill"

And to be fair to her
It got funny when I grew up
And realised antihistamines are for fucking allergies
And there was fuck all wrong with her

Except shes a narcissistic piss head

Stupid bitch

Thought cause I couldnt read properly
Id never realise and see through the lies
You ever gone into school
And had to apologise to your mate
Cause your mum kicked the fuck out of theirs
In a pissed up rage?
You ever come downstairs to find some hairy chested fucker
Making cereal in your breakfast bowl
And he doesnt even tell you his name?

"I honestly cant say I have"

Well.... do you want to? 
I mean, I dont have a hairy chest...

"No, and ive told you you need to stop coming on to me or we cant continue our sessions"

Shit, whatever 
So..
You ever been fourteen
Fighting grown men out your own home?
Then see the same cunts next morning
Sleeping in the privets
At the end of your road?

You ever seen your dad
Picking up somebody elses kids
From your school
And he doesnt even wait
One fucking minute
To say hello to you?

Shit

Want me to keep going?

"Sure, but only if you want to"

Well, no
Not really

"Okay, thats fine, I wont push you"

We still have 900 characters left though

"Anything else you wanna talk about?"

Like what?

"Anything you want, but you better be quick, theres only 750 now"

Anything?

"Yep"

Winner

Lets talk about murder

© 2026 Hotwife of Pi. All rights reserved. All lyrics are original works written and published under the name Hotwife of Pi and are protected by applicable copyright law. No part of these lyrics may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, adapted, performed, recorded, transmitted, used for artificial intelligence or machine-learning training, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from the copyright holder, except where permitted by law.